BookMark talks to Tanya Peterson (My Life in a Nutshell) Part 2

Without much waffle, here is Tanya, answering some of my burning questions!

BM: Brian and Abigail have faced very different kind of trauma; but how come the manifestations are the same?

 

 

TP: This is tricky to answer (unless you want a lengthy paper or even a non-fiction book, but I don’t think anyone wants that!). It’s tricky because it’s complex, and it’s tricky because nothing regarding human psychology and behavior is black-and-white. I’ll try to address it in a nutshell.

While the manifestations aren’t quite the same (Brian has panic attacks, extreme worries, and an automatic impulse to hide from the world, while Abigail has tantrums and alternating withdrawal and developmentally inappropriate attachment patterns), both of them are responding to the world from a mindset of fear and a lack of knowing what else to do (because neither of them was ever taught how to live in the world.) Generally speaking, all people respond to stressors by internalizing (turning the stressor inside) or by externalizing (acting out). Everyone does both, but some do one more than the other. That’s why you see Brian’s panic attacks and Abigail’s tantrums. They’re different, but similar, ways of responding to anxiety and triggers. These are externalizing behaviors. They have similarities because they’re human. But there are differences because each individual human is unique. (For example, Brian has, among other things, generalized anxiety disorder. That disorder (like all others) has defining features, but exactly how those features manifest is different for every single person who lives with GAD. This is why Brian and Abigail have both similarities and differences.

 

BM: Are you the patient or the counsellor? Whose character has drawn greater inspiration from your life?

 

TP: I’m both! I’m credentialed as a nationally certified counselor (US), and I’m also a patient. I have bipolar disorder and have dealt with anxiety issues as well. Brian definitely has drawn inspiration from my life. He’s not autobiographical in the least, but the anxieties I’ve dealt with made it natural to portray Brian. His thought processes are very similar to what my own have been!

 

BM: What’s next?

 

TP: I’m well into a novel about a character who has dissociative identity disorder. It’s about him as well as his family and a close friend. It’s the story of what DID is really like (as opposed to the way its portrayed in film) both for people who have it and for those in their lives. It’s really fun to write, but it’s a challenge. I can’t stop now because I’ve thoroughly bonded with the characters. I’ll face the challenge and (hopefully) do their story justice.

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Part 1 is here! I do think she is a brilliant writer and the research that went into her book shows.

Previously, as part of the Book’s Blog Tour, Trailer, Teaser, Review. Also, Leave of Absence

BookMark talks to Tanya Peterson (My Life in a Nutshell) Part 1

Without much waffle, here is Tanya, answering some of my burning questions!

BM: Describe where you are just now and the things around you; give us a peek into your life!

 

TP: At the moment I’m writing this, I’m sitting in my backyard. I’ve made myself comfortable in a low camping chair (that I really do use for camping), my computer is on my lap, an my bare feet are resting on the soft, freshly-mowed grass. I’m in the shade of a fairly large evergreen tree, so the temperature is ideal despite the 85-degree heat of the summer afternoon. I can see my flowers blooming: a variety of roses, a cluster of black-eyed susans just beginning to unfurl, my newly planted corner garden of lavender, daisies, dahlias, coreopsis, and more in tiny but vibrant bloom. It’s peaceful and inspiring. For optimal well-being, I need to spend time outdoors. I love writing outside!

 

BM: Let’s dive into the book then… When raising a child, how does a parent/teacher know if the child is just being a child and throwing tantrums or is dealing with more important issues?

 

TP: While of course every child is unique, with his/her own personality, there are defined stages that all experience at a given age. These stages include general ways of behaving and responding to the world. For example, a two-year-old who doesn’t have full command of her language can’t always express strong emotion verbally; thus, it’s natural for her to have tantrums. By the time that child has entered elementary school, she’s at a different developmental stage, has better command of language, can regulate her emotions more than she could at age two, etc. While an occasional outburst is still to be expected (depending on personality, some have more outbursts than others), if the tantrums are frequent and severe and there are other things going on (acting too clingy or dependent or too aloof or problems with social skills, for example), it’s a sign that there could be something more going on. The tantrums are a symptom of a problem rather than an age-appropriate behavior.

 

In the story, Abigail Harris can have a tantrum for very little reason (well, for very little reason as seen by an outsider. From her perspective, the tantrums have a definite reason.) Her tantrums are severe, and they can be long lasting or stop abruptly. Her behavior switches from dependent to independent and back again. (I won’t say more to avoid spoiling things!). These are not typical seven-year-old behaviors. For reasons I won’t say, she has an attachment disorder that accounts for her behavior.

 

Basically, parents and teachers should consider how a child acts compared to other children of similar age. Look for patterns. What is the child doing that’s out of the norm? When does this happen? Knowing these things is a great starting point for helping the child.

BM: Can Brian’s condition be quantified by severity? Say, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is his disorder?

 

TP: Definitely! One way of assessing mental illness in general is to consider how much it affects a person’s life and overall functioning. Can someone function well and just needs a bit of therapy or medication? Or are they completely incapacitated and in need of hospitalization? Or something in between?

 

Brian’s disorders are debilitating.  They’ve completely limited his life in almost every way imaginable. On a scale of one to ten, I would categorize him a nine. He’s not at a ten because he is living his life, albeit in a very restricted fashion. He can get to work, he has an activity he enjoys. But his anxiety chokes him to such a degree that he experiences panic attacks over nearly everything, including just the thought of some things. The poor man is miserable and feels powerless to get better.

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Stay tuned for Part 2! I do think she is a brilliant writer and the research that went into her book shows.

Previously, as part of the Book’s Blog Tour, Trailer, Teaser, Review. Also, Leave of Absence

Revenge Wears Prada … a review

Of course I had to read it! I loved Devil Wears Prada when it hit the shelves and I too, along with many others, felt that Lauren Weisberger had to come up with a sequel. What happens to Andrea and Miranda after they part ways… what happens to Andy’s relationship with Alex. And Emily? We last left Emily very bitter… the sequel brings us face to face with these characters ten years down the line.

Emily and Andy are now working in a joint venture, and peace is between them. Both of them have found love and their lives are happy and successful. But when Miranda Priestley’s office calls, can peace keep its hold? What, why, oh God no… are reactions very common. But will the new friendship and the new venture stand the test of Miranda’s presence in their lives? Again! Very entertaining.

[SPOILER ALERT: SKIP NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU WANT TO READ THE BOOK AND HAVEN’T YET!!!]
However, the two most major twists in the plot were totally, I mean totally predictable! It took me two pages to realise that a puking, tired, irritated Andy was pregnant, in the book, the discovery takes about 40 pages! The fact that Max is totally going behind her back and Emily too is in on it, took me about 20 pages, in the book, it is the climax! These were very very disappointing bits. I kept thinking that what I was predicting wouldn’t be true and something totally out of the blue would happen but I was let down.

So… read it if you, like me, have been waiting for a sequel. Else, don’t bother 😛

Teaser Tuesday (November 12)

My teaser:

“Ma?
Mmm?
Why am I hided away like the chocolates?
I just don’t want him looking at you. Even when you were a baby, I always wrapped you up in Blanket before he came in.”

From page 32 (Picador 2010) of Room.

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Enjoy!

Teaser Tuesday (October 15)

My teaser:

“If it hadn’t been for the child then none of this might have happened.

She saw me kissing her father.

She saw her father kissing me.

The fact that a child got mixed up in it all made us feel that it mattered, that there was no going back.”

From blurb (Vintage 2012) of The Forgotten Waltz.

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Enjoy!

Teaser Tuesday (October 08)

My teasers:

“Hans Hubermann’s story was a little like that. when I found it amongst the book thief’s words, I realized that we passed each other once in a while during that period, though neither of us scheduled a meeting.”

From 34% (Black Swan 2007) of The Book Thief.

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Enjoy!

Teaser Tuesday (October 01)

My teasers:

“You have to work through your confusion, your anger, everything. The life of a thirteen-year-old boy – our son – is at stake.”

From Page 29 (Orion Books 2003) of Darkest Fear.

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Enjoy!

Teaser Tuesday (September 24)

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

My teasers:

“They might have stepped straight from one of Scott’s novels. The dull laden-skied winter afternoon, with a piercing cold wind blowing across the bare landscape seemed completely in keeping with them. I remember how, with a heart sinking in foreboding, I murmured to myself: ‘Now I am in Scotland!'”

From Page 2 (Routledge and Kegan Paul ltd 1964) of A School in South Uist: Reminiscences of a Hebridean Schoolmaster, 1890-1913.

Enjoy!

The Brinkmeyers … a review

Meet the Brinkmeyers. Mr Brinkmeyer, Hymie, is a middle aged American oil tycoon who moved to England when he got married to his ‘English rose’. That was a long time ago. Since then, he has fathered two seemingly eccentric children, developed an apathy for his wife, fallen in love with his secretary, and developed what he calls ‘blind spots’ – to all of the previous. Mrs Brinkmeyer, or Maggie, is in love with her therapist. Towards the rest of her family, she feels nothing. Kevin, the son, has been expelled from school on account of drug taking and is not housebound, plotting the death of his mother and writing a book about it, to plan it, well you get the picture! Karrie, the daughter, writes rebellious poetry, does not shave on account of being a rebel, and rebels. She has a little boy Cleo and another baby on the way. She has no idea who the father is or the fathers are.

At first glance, this is a supremely messed up and totally dysfunctional family. They have their share of problems and the general lack of communication amongst them means that most of the time, they’re all on their own. The books is presented to us through Hymie’s blog, and Kevin and Karrie’s personal diaries. The author Michael Cameron has told the story in a novel way, seeing as how personal blogs have mushroomed over the last few years and a lot of people find it easier to confide in nameless faceless souls on the internet than their own families. Through this, we also learn, that at the heart of all of the Brinkmeyers’ problems is a constant fear. Hymie’s fear of rejection, Karrie’s fear of failure, Kevin’s fear of ridicule, and Maggie’s fear of being a bad mother and wife.

Many twists and misadventures later the author brings the reader to a point of that tacit understanding that can only happen through words – We’ve all been there. The language is strong and abusive in places, and even through that, the author has successfully achieved to bring each character’s vulnerability to light. I am not a big fan of strong language, but I had to admit, Karrie’s poetry is… ahem… quite striking!

The plot is well-paced and interesting. It is a very good read for people who like a read on a journey, something which is easy to read but leaves you with something important to take away. Bloggers will enjoy the feeling of having fellow bloggers attention in their online space too.

My favourite part: “I am planning his death… A terrible… spectacular… bloody and painful death. Actually, make that a double death – after all there are two of them in this relationship.”

This Mobius Strip of Ifs …a review

I usually read fiction. So when Mathias B. Freese wrote to me asking if I would like to review his book, I agreed because of two words that he used to describe his book, ‘memoir’ and ‘psychotherapist’. What’s not be intrigued about!? I wasn’t disappointed. This book is a collection of essays, a wide variety of topics, from relationships to blogging, from Holocaust to Freud… each essay was a bit of a jolt really…

It is a harsh read. There are works like those of Freud’s, scientific and calculating, cautious even. There are works like Paulo Coelho’s, which give you deep mantras in sugar coated easy to read stories. And then there is this man, who calls a spade a spade, and gives you facts and truth to your face. He is critical of people, of habits, of the system, of the world around him. Above all, he is critical of himself. He was a therapist; therapists have issues too!

A book that begins with a quote by Hemingway can hardly go wrong in my eyes! I once read Freud, a lot of him, I liked frequent references to his work. On the other hand, I didn’t enjoy the references to other things as much, ones I did not know about… “How will I ever read so much!?” reads my note to self on the margin.

Reading a lot of the essays made me feel like I was encroaching into really personal territory. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to read on. Did I really wish to know? I don’t know how much courage and general faith it takes to bare to the world… Also, the essay on bloggers made me ask questions as to my own purpose… Why do I blog? Why about books? Am I a true critic? Am I needy? If so, aren’t we all? A book  that makes you introspect is, in my opinion, a brilliant read, challenging and scary, but worthwhile.

It’s the kind of book one can come back to. It is not a cheery happy read, but I like them that way. It is like an old friend, who was a cynic a long time ago, but now is just an old friend…

Bold. Brave. Blunt.

Quotes: “Like the sad genius of the schizophrenic, allow me to find a nether place, to rest in sweet shadow, to come away from what I plainly see.”

“The task of each one of us is to be free of the other and ultimately free of one’s own inner constraints. All else follows.”

“I self-publish to announce I am here, for I will soon be gone.”